Change your thoughts to level up

October 12, 2024

One thing that we are not taught throughout our lives is that you CAN reframe what you think and choose how you feel. Often, we live with borrowed beliefs and are unsure why we can't overcome certain phases to grow into the next version of ourselves. I am here to tell you that your thoughts and beliefs drive your results. Of course, you have to take action, but if your thoughts are holding you back: "I can't do this" or "I am not good enough," you will never get to the execution phase. On the other hand, we project and create our own stories in our minds and then get disappointed when things don't go how we pictured them. I once stumbled upon this quote: “if someone disappoints you, it's not their fault; it's your fault for letting them because you created the expectations and the story and missed looking at the facts” - later on, I realized the truth it holds.

Our mind is fascinating, yet we still need to fully understand the power it arms us with and what we can accomplish.

A few years ago, an amazing coach introduced me to a tool that changed my life. It's called The Self Coaching Model developed by Brooke Castillo, which teaches you how to reframe how you think, feel and act towards different circumstances. It was founded on the premise that your thoughts create your feelings and consequently influence how you act and the results you get. This model aims to help you identify the issue, why you feel stuck and how to rewire your thoughts to lead to your desired results.

In this model, and life, all circumstances are neutral; everything that happens to you is neither good nor bad, and they become positive or negative once we attach thoughts to it.

Let's start with defining the building blocks of this model:

Circumstances are facts that can be proven and measurable, and everyone agrees on them. Now facts are neutral in your life and don't impact you unless your thoughts about them make them either positive or negative. For example: "I haven't applied for that job."

Thoughts are your interpretation or opinion about a circumstance and tend to be descriptive: "I'm not good enough" - good enough is not a fact; it is a subjective opinion. Brooke Castillo says: "Nothing that happens in your life is amazing or terrible until you decide to have a thought about it to make it that way."

Feelings are represented by what you feel in your body, best described in one word. Your thoughts always create how you feel and not the other way around. For example, you might feel insecure if you think you're not good enough because you haven't applied for that job. That also means that if you change your thoughts, then you can change how you feel.

Actions are the reactions you have based on your thoughts and feelings. When there's a lack of actions, you need to go back to the feelings and thoughts in the model to get clarity.

Results are the outcomes of your action. Sometimes though, taking action might still not get you the results you want because you still have the same thoughts that don't serve you. So working through this model can help you identify the thoughts you're having that are blocking you.

Now that you've been introduced to all the components, you can work on any problem you've identified. Start with the problem, say: "I procrastinate working on my business plan." That represents the action; now, fill out the other sections following the above order: circumstance, thought, feeling, action (which you've already determined) and results. Your model could look like this:

Circumstance: creating my business plan

Thought: I don't know where to start

Feeling: overwhelmed

Action: procrastinate working on my business plan

Result: no business plan

In this case, the cause of the problem is the thought: you don't know where to start, which makes you feel overwhelmed. So a step towards fixing the problem is to change the thought to something that feels true to you; it could be: I am taking steps to learn how to create a business plan. Imagine what different thoughts you can attribute to your circumstance and then continue with how that would make you feel and act and what result it would trigger.

A few tips:

The replaced thought needs to be realistic to you: you need to believe it. If you think you're not good enough, you won't be able to jump directly to "I'm the best"; you need to make your way up in incremental steps.
Once you determine your replacement thought, write it on a post-it note and whenever the old thought pops up, remember to replace it with the new one.
Be aware of what circumstances trigger specific thoughts, write them down and find a replacement thought that feels true to you.
Work on one thought at a time. It takes time for you to embody the new thought.
Look for evidence to prove your new thought. Having proof will encourage you to keep the thought and gain confidence.

I hope this inspires you to be aware of your thoughts, take action and create the desired results.

Here’s the link to the complete guide and worksheet.

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